It's been quite a while

It's the new year. I'm going to be flippin 28 this year.
I know its not decrepid, but I can literally see the effects of aging.
My body doesn't bounce back from french fries or milkshakes like it used to. I used to be able to intake 4000 calories a day -- and that's not an exaggerated number. I loooooooooved hotdogs...especially ones from James Coney in Houston. I could eat and eat and eat. I was a fat person in a skinny body. Thank God I was blessed with supernatural metabolism - or I'd have an extra large muffintop. After a huge meal, I never felt the need to pop the button off my jeans for stomach expansion... I could have walked around in a bikini top and looked as if I hadn't eaten a thing.

But now, after a sandwich or even a coffee, my stomach feels abnormally bloated and pudgey. The slightest hint of sugar and my soft center turns into a jelly roll. My body isn't expelling these calories anymore. It's absorbing them. And I have no idea how to deal with it! I'm not used to having to watch what I eat. So now, it's strange that I have to slip into my 'comfort' jeans when I'm about to partake some comfort food.

I still workout, no doubt. But I have to work out even harder to sweat off what I used to be able to shed off so easily. But I guess that's the natural progression of a woman. To be soft. To be...homely and...healthy. Ugh.

So tonight, after a slice of cucumber and a glass of water, I will fall asleep to dreams of cinnabuns and loaded Chicago-style hotdogs from James Coney Island.

Feast on Your Life

The time will come when, with elation
You will greet yourself
Arriving at your own door,
In your own mirror,
And each will smile at each other's welcome.

And say, "Sit here. Eat."
You will love again the stranger who was yourself.
Give wine. Give bread.
Give back your heart to itself,
To the stranger who has loved you all your life,
Whom you ignored for another,
Who knows you by heart.

Take down the letters from the bookshelf,
The photographs, the desparate notes.
Peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit.
Feast on your life.

Written by: Derek Wabott

Dancing it up

It started out when I was 7. My mom enrolled me in ballet, hula and filipino folk dancing. I took a couple of years of modern dance in middle school. I also had salsa/meringue lessons in high school. From then on, I've been hooked to movin' & shakin' and expressing myself through music. Dance is an art and a form of expression. Even at a nightclub, I feel like grooving and letting out my love for life and love for myself. I don't even need to be dancing with ANYONE. To be on a dance floor elevates my mood and gives me a high that I don't seem to get through any other outlet. I feel free and alive. Although the attention is flattering, it's not what makes me go back for more. I like to let loose and feel young. I'm still going through that party-girl phase and I'm liberated by social gatherings of expressive movement. One day though, I won't be in that mindset anymore. But till then, I hope my lively habits will keep my body toned and offset the alcoholic calories.

Style This 07.28.08 Challenge for Catwalk Queen

So I'm a fan of the fashion blog Catwalk Queen.
One of the challenges is to style an outfit around a given piece of clothing/accessory. So this week, the challenge was a purple Monsoon blouse. This is the outfit I came up with...which I would totally wear for a day/night out on the town.

Lust Now, Pay Later

It's no secret that sex sells, but erotic ads may do more than make products sparkle: they may alter your economic decision-making in general. "If your brains reward regions are activated at the moment of a decision - for example, through exposure to sexual cues - you become more likely to choose impulsively," says Brian Van den Bergh, a researcher at Katholieke Universiteit Leuven in the Netherlands.

Previous studies had shown that dirty thoughts make men more impulsive in the sexual domain - they discount the risk of STDs, for example - but Van den Bergh and collaborators demonstrated repercussions of "hot states" on decisions in nonsexual domains: Given the choice of 15 dollars now or a larger chunk of change later, men who had just handled bras valued an immediate payoff more highly than did guys who'd been stuck fondling t-shirts. The research showed the same lingerie-induced myopia when the currency was sodas or candy bars. "Sexual desire leads to a desire to consume anything rewarding," Van den Bergh hypothesizes.

Because appetites for sex, money, and food appear to mingle in the brain, it could be that shopping with any craving will send you on a shopping spree. Van den Bergh says the implications are clear. "If you're pondering fruit versus cake, or saving versus spending, make sure that sexual stimuli are absent, and that you're not desiring something at the moment." In other words, guys, don't bring your credit card to Victoria's Secret on an empty stomach.



Article by Matthew Hutson
From Psychology Today (June 2008, p.26)

So I was telling my guy-cousin a bit of my woes, and he said the most hilarious thing:

Him: Do you want me to build you a bridge?
Me: What?
Him: So that you can get over it.

It made me smile.

So I'm going through this phase. I'm obsessed with being healthy. I drink enough water everyday to quench an entire African village. My cravings for fatty fast foods and senseless sweets have diminished drastically. I've been working out rigorously for the past month, in the hopes of having a toned, sculpted body by November. Not just for my health, but I suppose, to maintain and train my body to keep up with a healthy, active lifestyle.

Not only that, but my best friend Joy (we're still trying to convince Maite) and I are planning on stepping out of our comfort zones and posing for some provocative photos in November. Why November? Well, it'll be Joy's 27th birthday...it'll be a b-day present for her. She loves to see me looking sexy. haha. But I suppose, it's a self-preservation type of thing. If you know what I mean. One day, I'll snag my future husband with them. :) Here's hoping...

So here's a photo of me today. I'll update it periodically to show my progression - I guess I should hold up my guns but that seems a little funny for a girl. I'll take a body shot next time. But I usually see it in my face - my cheeks won't be so chubby a month from now. Yeah, I have chipmunk cheeks.